Hanging up on "Telephone"

WHEN I CAUGHT WIND OF LADY GAGA AND BEYONCE'S official release of the nine and a half minute long video for Telephone, I got déjà vu of Michael Jackson's 14 minute Thriller mini movie. Naturally, I expected Gaga's premiere to be spectacular, as she is an innovative pop icon, much like the late Michael Jackson. When I finally watched Telephone however, I found an elongated and overly- intricate video that was disconnected to the song and just-- busy.

Peppered with Beyonce's poor acting and an undercooked plot, I was so surprised to hear rave reviews of this video on Twitter, Youtube, my Facebook, and just in conversations with people I know. This video can be considered offbeat, as most of Lady Gaga's work is; but this is not the root of my criticism. I don't think it is right to dismiss the eccentricities of this video as "Avant Garde" and just keep it moving. Just because Gaga has established herself as an innovative pop musician, who has shown us that she is not afraid to push the envelope, doesn't mean we should just give her license in every aspect of her art without question. I'm not saying this video is complete nonsense, I'm just saying that the audience should still discern what we like and dislike about it. I expect more from Lady Gaga, as this is just the beginning of her career. And as a fan, I know that this can't be the top of her game. 

WHY THIS VIDEO DIDN'T SUIT THIS PARTICULAR SONG:

The video alone was not that bad. I could see that the story is a continuation of the Paparazzi video. It was just really inconsistent with the song. Yeah, I get it. If Lady Gaga did a video in a dance club as expected; it wouldn't be creative, and that's just not Gaga. She played poker in the Pokerface video- granted that wasn't really her greatest masterpiece. My point is, I would have liked to see some art direction in this video that at least alludes to being on a dance floor and having life interrupted, or something about the annoyance of constant communication. Or something that actually correlated with the song! 

THE DEAL WITH ALL THOSE DETAILS:

•  I can infer that the whole "Told you she doesn't have a dick..." thing is a suggestion that constant media scrutiny can be imprisoning when you're famous. 
• The Madonna makeup was a nice subtle homage, and so was the Michael Jackson shuffle move as she exited the prison.
• I see that the phone is a symbol of liberation; Beyonce calls Lady Gaga before she bails her out. (sidenote: one thing that bugged me is that this was a prison setting and you can't bail a convict out of prison.)
• The phone appears again in a scene with Beyonce in a bedroom during her verse of the song. She sings "sometimes i feel like I live in grand central station..." as her body fidgets and kind of short circuits, as does Gaga's in the sandwich scene. This probably indicates the control that technology, namely the phone, has over our beings.
• There was sooo much product placement in this video. which makes sense because it was probably very costly to make and someone had to pay for it. I liked that they kind of made a joke of it by overemphasizing the brands.
• As for movie references, The Thelma and Louise nod when Honeybee and Gaga held hands in the close was cute, and the Kill Bill Pussy Wagon and the Tarantino- esque moment in the diner with Tyrese was cool too, but it just seemed out of place to me. (click here to read another blogger's interesting analysis of the metaphorical value of all the details in this video)

WHAT THE HELL AM I WATCHING?

There were several things in this video that still remain a mystery to me and made me wonder-- what the hell?

• What was with the prolonged lesbian kiss in the prison yard?
• And the fight with the brunette Gaga double? (played by Lady Gaga's actual sister)
• Why did Honeybee feed Gaga that honey bun? 
• What were those burger and mirror quotes about?
• Why was Gaga wearing the same clear outfit from the bathtub scene in Bad Romance?

MY FAVORITE PART OF THE VIDEO (THOUGH IT STILL HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SONG):

I was personally blown away by the murder in the diner. It was comical and disturbing at the same time to hear/ see the amplified croaking of all the patrons who were stuffing their faces with poisoned breakfast delights. I LOVE how it was followed by Lady Gaga and Beyonce's outburst of celebratory dance in Americana gear. It really says a lot about America's blind consumption of all things that are bad for us, be it media, food, drugs, consumer culture, politics, you name it. This scene was so clever and eye opening, and it's a message that prevails in a lot of Gaga's music.